Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Oct

Decisions

By Donny44

in General Jokes

+22 -29

“Sorry I don’t know if its a boy or a girl yet, we’ll have to wait until the baby grows older and decides for itself!” Said no doctor ever.

May

Wipe Your Bum Chat-Up Line

By Peter Kay

in Pick Up Lines

+29 -36

Man: What hand do you wipe your bum with?
Woman: Right hand.
Man: Oh really, I use toilet paper.

May

Chinese

By Ting Tong

in Political Jokes

+21 -28

The following conversation took place in the palace of the supreme leader of North Korea.

Kim Jong Un: Nuke the Chinese.
Adviser: No problem your excellency, missiles will be launched in 3 minutes.
Kim Jong Un: I was talking about microwaving some food you idiot.

Dec

Ceramic Tiles

By Steve

in Relationship Jokes

Tags: Jokes About Men

+11 -18

Why are men are like Ceramic Tiles?
Because if you lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.

Jul

London 2012 Olympics Debt Joke

By Geoff

in Sports Jokes

+28 -35

Total UK National Debt …. £1.3 trillion.
Total number of people in the UK unemployed …. 6.3 million
Cost of hosting London 2012 per UK taxpayer …. £550

Watching Mr Bean play the Piano …. Priceless

Nov

Mathematics

By San

in Racist Jokes

+11 -18

MATHEMATICS — HIGHER TIER — 2018

Q1) Sindeepa throws 4 unbiased coins and records the results.

Calculate the probability we have used this name because we’re scared of being labelled racist?