Don’t you just hate it when insects make you late for work in the morning. I’m never gonna high-five a centipede again!
What do you call a blind German? A Nazi
Went to a premature egaculation meeting today but nobody was there. It turns out the meeting is actually tomorrow.
Just broke up with my girlfriend who was an English teacher.
She didn’t approve of my improper use of the colon.
Hi, is your name Jingle Bells? Because I think we could go all the way.
Im selling my roof for free… i gues you can say its on the house!