Q. What’s the difference between hard and light?
A. You can sleep with a light on.
Just been told off for swearing at work by my boss. The f*cking c*nt can go and f*ck himself.
I no longer see my wife and kids and it’s all because of gambling.
I won shitloads of money and moved to Spain.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep? A wooly jumper
What do you call someone who spreads chick peas and garlic over their genitals? A hummussexual.
A man and a woman begin having sex in the middle of a field. After about 10 minutes, the man gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had a torch!”. The woman says, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!”