British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
Some people are ridiculous. There are 363 days left till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up.
Just quit my job at the mosque. All they care about is profits.
The following conversation took place in an Irish bar.
Paddy: How much is your beer? Barman: £3 a pint or £8 a pitcher. Paddy: I’ll just have a pint, f*ck the photo!
Just discovered that I’m buy-sexual. I can’t get any sex unless I buy it.
My anorexic girlfriend told me she’s really depressed at the moment. I told her she should lighten up.