Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

London 2012 Olympics Debt Joke

in Sports Jokes
+28 -35

Total UK National Debt …. £1.3 trillion.
Total number of people in the UK unemployed …. 6.3 million
Cost of hosting London 2012 per UK taxpayer …. £550

Watching Mr Bean play the Piano …. Priceless

Mathematics

in Racist Jokes
+11 -18

MATHEMATICS — HIGHER TIER — 2018

Q1) Sindeepa throws 4 unbiased coins and records the results.

Calculate the probability we have used this name because we’re scared of being labelled racist?

Samaritans

in General Jokes
+8 -15

Just seen a sign for the Samaritans on the back of a bus. Surely it would be more useful on the front.

So good at sleeping

in General Jokes
+26 -33

I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Opposites

in Relationship Jokes
+17 -24

If opposites attract, then does that mean I need to become a fat looser who smells bad to attract a nice woman?

Wind

in General Jokes
+9 -16

I was holding my sister’s baby yesterday when she asked me to wind it. Seemed a bit harsh so I decided to just give it a dead leg instead.