Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

May

Quit Smoking

By SteveA

in General Jokes

+12 -18

I’ve decided to quit smoking and also quit eating bacon. As a substitute I now only eat smokey bacon.

Jul

Independence Day

By Steve

in Political Jokes

+7 -13

Earlier today Prince Philip sent a message to the President wishing him a happy Independence Day. His message said “You did a great job destroying the alien mothership and humanity is forever grateful.”

Nov

Comfort Eating

By Dave

in General Jokes

+12 -18

My psychiatrist told me I need to stop comfort eating right away. Apparently fabric conditioner contains really dangerous chemicals.

Jan

Martial Arts

By S2rre

in General Jokes

+18 -24

What do you call a ginger kid who’s good at martial arts?
The Carroty Kid

May

Subway Pickup Line

By Chris

in Pick Up Lines

+16 -22

Do you work for Subway because you just gave me a footlong.

Apr

Last Night

By SteveG

in General Jokes

+27 -33

Took a girl home last night and I accidentally said ‘how’s your daddy’ instead of ‘who’s your daddy’. We spent 2 hours talking about her dad’s cholesterol.