Got some extra sensitive toothpaste the other day. It gets really jealous if I use other toothpastes.
My granddad used to be in the army until he ate all the rations. He was shot for desserting.
How do you starve a black person?
Hide their welfare check under their work boots.
Really hate auto-correct.
The other day I sent my friend a text message saying “Do you want to wank with me along the river?”
Really embarrassing… I meant to say ‘canal’.
Organised a 3-some last night.
There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time.
According to my wife the term “Paki Shop” is not PC anymore so I’ve decided to compromise and now call it the ‘Newsasians’.