Really hate auto-correct.
The other day I sent my friend a text message saying “Do you want to wank with me along the river?”
Really embarrassing… I meant to say ‘canal’.
Organised a 3-some last night.
There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time.
According to my wife the term “Paki Shop” is not PC anymore so I’ve decided to compromise and now call it the ‘Newsasians’.
I wish I went to boarding school as a kid…
Would love to be able to surf.
Just quit my job at the ice-cream factory. Kept getting the cold shoulder.
Just broke up with my Chinese girlfriend. Watching someone squint while they’re giving you a BJ is really off putting.