The following inspirational conversation took place with my dad earlier today.
Dad: There’s no such thing as “can’t”. Me: Wow, thanks for the inspirational message dad but I was actually calling you a cunt.
Have you heard about that new Muslim rock band from Saudi Arabia?
They’re called the ‘Throwing Stones’.
Just because I’m out of your league doesn’t mean that you should feel intimidated and pretend to ignore me.
Just got home after a successful sex change operation from male to female. It was so successful I even crashed my car while reversing out of the hospital car park.
A Scotsman, Irishman and German walk into a bar… There’s normally an Englishman but he’s at the World cup.
Q. How do you convince a woman to have sex with you when she has a headache? A. Sprinkle crushed aspirin on your c*ck!