Accidentally filled my escort with diesel last night. She’s dead now.
Say hello to my little friend! (Pick up a midget while introducing yourself)
I’ve always been very good at putting food on the table so I’ve now decided to get a job as a waiter.
Trump has announced that recent airstrikes were a great success. After reducing large parts of Syria to rubble people living in Detroit now feel slightly less jealous of Syrians.
I hate street performers… Then again, I’m a mime, so I can’t really talk.
Q: What did Jay-Z call Beyonce when they got engaged A: Fiance