Q. What’s the difference between a pornstar and an undertaker? A. An undertaker is usually fully dressed when he sees a stiff.
The following inspirational conversation took place with my dad earlier today.
Dad: There’s no such thing as “can’t”. Me: Wow, thanks for the inspirational message dad but I was actually calling you a cunt.
Have you heard about that new Muslim rock band from Saudi Arabia?
They’re called the ‘Throwing Stones’.
Just got home after a successful sex change operation from male to female. It was so successful I even crashed my car while reversing out of the hospital car park.
A Scotsman, Irishman and German walk into a bar… There’s normally an Englishman but he’s at the World cup.
Just because I’m out of your league doesn’t mean that you should feel intimidated and pretend to ignore me.