Trump has announced that recent airstrikes were a great success. After reducing large parts of Syria to rubble people living in Detroit now feel slightly less jealous of Syrians.
I hate street performers… Then again, I’m a mime, so I can’t really talk.
I love Halloween. It’s the one time of year where all the dust, bloodstains and cobwebs around my house stop being disgusting and become decorations.
Farting in a crowded lift is wrong on multiple levels!
Left boob: “Whacha doing?” Right boob: “Nothing just hanging.”
Had a nightmare last night about a fat old men breaking into my house. Think I might be Claustraphobic.