Just had a water fight at the local park with a bunch kids and won!!
Nobody is a match for me and my kettle.
How to make a tofu breakfast.
Step 1. Throw tofu into the trash. Step 2. Get some bacon.
Got an erection while waiting in line at burger king. It was a whopper.
My wife only ever has sex with me when she wants something. Last night she wanted to time an egg.
Why did God give men penises? So they’d have at least one way to shut up a woman!
Q. What’s the difference between a pornstar and an undertaker? A. An undertaker is usually fully dressed when he sees a stiff.