Q. How can you tell if Obama is lying? A. His teleprompter is glowing.
Just spent the past 2 hours on the toilet… I’m getting too old for this shit.
My wife is so selfish that the only blowe jobs I get is when my soup is too hot.
When women see me naked they often say I look like a Greek god. I think the gods name is Hermaphrodite.
Just quit my job at the poultry farm. I’m fed up of working with cocks.
Its true what they say, love really does hurt. Especially without lube.