My psychiatrist said that I have the memory of an elephant.
I keep thinking about elephants.
Met a woman in a bar last night, took her back to mine and I couldn’t get it up.
She said “Don’t worry, it’s totally normal, used to happen to me all the time before the operation”.
Just gave my girlfriend a medieval battle uniform to polish while I go to the bar.
She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
I heard women love a man in uniform so just got a job working at McDonalds.
Just got fired from my job at Lastminute.com, I kept turning up late.
My ex-girlfriend was really terrible in bed. She would just lie there screaming “noooooo!”.