Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Sep

Blue Eyes

By Dannw

in Relationship Jokes

+47 -49

I have blue eyes. I got them from my father. My mother has black eyes. She also got them from my father.

Apr

Parrot

By Dave

in Animal Jokes

+28 -30

I’m really worried about my parrot. He keeps saying, “I can’t go on, I hate my life”. My roommate’s too selfish to notice. He’s always crying.

May

Egg Fun

By deryn

in Surreal Jokes

+23 -25

Q. What do eggs do for fun?
A. Karayoke

May

Rice On Face

By Dave

in General Jokes

+15 -17

Just woken up with rice on my face.
I must have fallen asleep as soon as my head hit the pilau.

Mar

Cross The Road

By Pauli

in Dirty Jokes

+15 -17

Why did the semen cross the road?

Because I hadn’t jacked off in 2 weeks.

Mar

Life After Death

By Lazarus

in General Jokes

+20 -22

The following conversation took place between a boss and his employee.

Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: Yes!!
Boss: That’s good, because after you left early yesterday for your grandmother’s funeral she came into the office to see you.