Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

A Close Shave

in General Jokes
+8 -8

Went to a barbershop today for a shave. The barber wanted me to put a small wooden ball in my mouth to get a closer shave around my cheeks.

I said: “What if I swallow the ball?”
He said: “No problem, just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else.”

Taxi Driver

in Disabled Jokes
+22 -22

My autistic brother recently got arrested after his first day at work as a taxi driver. I should never have told him to “knock em dead”.

Genesis 1:13

in Animal Jokes, Religious Jokes
+53 -53

Genesis 1:13 “And on the 3rd day God created the land for all the animals to share but he
decided to make a special piece of land called Antarctica just for penguins because he liked them and thought they were cute.”

Valentines Poem STD

in Relationship Jokes
+27 -27

Roses are red
violets are blue
I have an STD
Now so do you.

Two Weeks

in Relationship Jokes
+15 -15

I’ve just been given two weeks to live. My wife’s going on vacation for a couple of weeks.

Medical School

in General Jokes
+30 -30

Even after years of training at medical school it’s always sad when a patient dies. That’s the hardest part of being a dentist.