Marks and Spencer have recently announced they are going to merge with Poundstrecher.
The new supermarket will be called StrechMarks.
I was just enjoying a wank when some woman popped up and said, “Find local girls in your area”
I said, “Get the fuck out of my room, mum.”
When you get married you get 3 rings. Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffer-ring.
After this weekend I’ve decided to give up drinking for good. I now only drink for evil.
When you’re sad remember it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 5 muscles to shoot a sniper riffle.
Man: I want a blow job! Woman: That’s not very romantic! Man: Ok, I want a blow job next to a candle!!