Started a whiskey diet on Monday…I’ve lost 3 days already.
My wife – Beautiful, kindhearted, great sense of humor… at least one of those things would have been nice.
Are orphans allowed to watch PG movies?
Just made a voodoo doll of my dog so now I can rub its belly while I’m at work.
Q. What’s the worst thing about being lonely? A. Playing frisbee.
Just been diagnosed with chronic fear of giants… or Feefiphobia as my doctor calls it.