Yo mama is so fat she’s got shock absorbers on her toilet seat.
If one of my jokes offends you
1. I’m sorry 2. It won’t happen again. 3. 1 and 2 are lies. 4. You’re a pussy.
Think my wife might be cheating on me. Every time I put the key in the lock to get in my house the parrot shouts “Quick out the window, quick out the window”.
I bet if Aquaman and Jesus had a fight, Jesus would walk all over him.
My ex-girlfriend used to have a pet parrot. The thing would never f*cking shut up.. the parrot was cool though.
What’s blue an f*cks old women? ………. Hypothermia!