When you get married you get 3 rings. Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffer-ring.
When you’re sad remember it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 5 muscles to shoot a sniper riffle.
Man: I want a blow job! Woman: That’s not very romantic! Man: Ok, I want a blow job next to a candle!!
I don’t understand Christians. They say that gambling is wrong, then bet their entire life on heaven being real.
My wife was really angry with me today. I put a stick in a non-stick frying pan.
Just been scammed out of $25.
Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled “My Favorite 18 Holes”
Total waste of money, turns out it’s all about golf.