Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Jimmy Saville Milking

in Dirty Jokes
+24 -24

I wish everyone would stop criticising Jimmy Saville, when I was eight he fixed it for me to milk a cow, blindfolded.

Funerals

in General Jokes
+25 -25

I hate it when funerals are at 9am. I’m not a mourning person.

Marks and Spencer

in Political Jokes
+18 -18

Marks and Spencer have recently announced they are going to merge with Poundstrecher.

The new supermarket will be called StrechMarks.

Local Girls

in Dirty Jokes
+34 -34

I was just enjoying a wank when some woman popped up and said, “Find local girls in your area”

I said, “Get the fuck out of my room, mum.”

Drinking

in General Jokes
+24 -24

After this weekend I’ve decided to give up drinking for good.
I now only drink for evil.

Marriage

in Relationship Jokes
+37 -37

When you get married you get 3 rings. Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffer-ring.