Crimewatch have released their first book, it has the 50 most wanted criminals in Britain in it.
It’s called “50 shades of black”
The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.
Wife: Would you still love me if I became fat and lost my looks. Husband: What do you mean “if”?
Ladies please be careful when drinking tea. I found out last night that tea is more dangerous than alcohol. I came home at 4am after having 12 pints of beer and my wife who stayed at home drinking tea was really angry and violent.
According to my sister my niece really likes frozen things so I’m going to get her some frozen beefburgers for her birthday.
I often say to myself, “I can’t believe that cloning machine worked!”
Just broke up with my girlfriend. Don‘t know where me and Helen (or ‘saggy tits’ as I used to call her) went wrong.