Just bought my wife a desk-lamp for Christmas.
Her face is really gonna light up when she sees it.
I lost 3 kilos over the weekend. Think I’m gonna go into hiding for a while just in case my boss sends a hit-man after me.
What’s the difference between a Jew and an onion.
You cry when you chop up an onion.
My kids cried when I put ginger in their curry tonight. They loved that little kitten.
Feminism, the belief that both sexes are equal but men need to be controlled because they’re not equal.
My wife is never satisfied. Yesterday she complained that I never make bed in breakfast. Today she’s complaining because I put our bed in the kitchen.