Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Drink

in General Jokes
+43 -42

After having a problem with alcohol I’ve now decided I’m only going to drink on days beginning with the letter T… Tuesday. Thursday, today, tomorrow Taturday and Sunday.

Squirrel

in Pick Up Lines
+24 -23

If you was a tree and I was a Squirrel, I’d put my nuts in your hole

Supermarket

in General Jokes
+26 -25

Just went to the supermarket and bought a loaf of bread and a cucumber. After serving me the cashier said, “your must be single”. I said “Yes I am, how could you tell?”, he then said “because you’re really ugly”.

Change pick-up line

in Pick Up Lines
+25 -24

There’s only one thing I would change about you, your last name.

Mating

in Animal Jokes
+53 -52

Apparently the female spider devours the male minutes after mating. It takes female humans years to do that.

Hot Weather

in Relationship Jokes
+27 -26

I hate this hot weather, I have to keep my windows closed because all my neighbour’s kids do is scream. I’m seriously considering giving them back.