Scientific survey found out recently that 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
Hitler: I said glass of juice, not gas the Jews.
General: Apologies mein fuhrer.
My wife asked me to make her scream last night while we were in bed so I poked her in the eyes.
My wife hates sex so much her favorite position is back to back.
Made a taxi driver really angry tonight.
Told him to drive me home in reverse and now he owes me £16.20.
My wife said she was going for a beauty sleep last night. I said “Ok, see you in 3 months time”.