I often say to myself, “I can’t believe that cloning machine worked!”
Just broke up with my girlfriend. Don‘t know where me and Helen (or ‘saggy tits’ as I used to call her) went wrong.
Q. Why is Google like a woman? A. Because it knows everything.
I’ve decided to take my psychiatrist’s advice and live each day as if its my last day on Earth. So far today I’ve spent $20’000 on my credit card and I told my boss to go f*ck himself.
Heard on the news that the worlds oldest man died earlier today. Why does this keep happening?
What flavour ice-cream do electricians like to eat? Shock-a-lot!