My wife hates sex so much her favorite position is back to back.
My wife said she was going for a beauty sleep last night. I said “Ok, see you in 3 months time”.
Made a taxi driver really angry tonight.
Told him to drive me home in reverse and now he owes me £16.20.
Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and some stink!
Just bought my wife a desk-lamp for Christmas.
Her face is really gonna light up when she sees it.
I lost 3 kilos over the weekend. Think I’m gonna go into hiding for a while just in case my boss sends a hit-man after me.