Tried to give myself a sex change earlier today but I couldn’t quite pull it off.
My wife asked me to make her scream last night while we were in bed so I poked her in the eyes.
My wife hates sex so much her favorite position is back to back.
Made a taxi driver really angry tonight.
Told him to drive me home in reverse and now he owes me £16.20.
My wife said she was going for a beauty sleep last night. I said “Ok, see you in 3 months time”.
Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and some stink!