Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Vaccine

in Political Jokes
+8 -6

Just had the Covid vaccine. Anyone know where I can get a Windows 10 upgrade and Office 365? Just had a sudden urge to buy Microsoft software.

New Years Resolution

in General Jokes
+35 -33

I asked a girl at the gym today what her New Years Resolution is and she said “F*ck you!”. Looks like 2017 is going to be a good year.

Bricklayer

in Racist Jokes
+29 -27

Just started dating an Italian bricklayer…

It’s cement to be.

Cheat Day

in Relationship Jokes
+26 -24

Me and my girlfriend recently started dieting together and we both agreed to having a ‘cheat day’. After a couple of weeks she started getting really angry with me.

Turns out I totally misunderstood and while she was eating pizza I was eating pussy.

Chess Racist

in Racist Jokes
+105 -103

Q. Why is chess racist?
A. Because the white chess pieces always go first.

Fire Alarm

in General Jokes
+14 -12

I raised the fire-alarm at work today.

The midgets in my office were furious.