I’ve never had any luck with women. When I was a baby my mother refused to breastfeed me, she said she only liked me as a friend.
What do you call a Pakistani joiner? A-med-a-shed
Just had the Covid vaccine. Anyone know where I can get a Windows 10 upgrade and Office 365? Just had a sudden urge to buy Microsoft software.
I asked a girl at the gym today what her New Years Resolution is and she said “F*ck you!”. Looks like 2017 is going to be a good year.
Just started dating an Italian bricklayer…
It’s cement to be.
Me and my girlfriend recently started dieting together and we both agreed to having a ‘cheat day’. After a couple of weeks she started getting really angry with me.
Turns out I totally misunderstood and while she was eating pizza I was eating pussy.