Just had the Covid vaccine. Anyone know where I can get a Windows 10 upgrade and Office 365? Just had a sudden urge to buy Microsoft software.
I asked a girl at the gym today what her New Years Resolution is and she said “F*ck you!”. Looks like 2017 is going to be a good year.
Just started dating an Italian bricklayer…
It’s cement to be.
Me and my girlfriend recently started dieting together and we both agreed to having a ‘cheat day’. After a couple of weeks she started getting really angry with me.
Turns out I totally misunderstood and while she was eating pizza I was eating pussy.
Q. Why is chess racist? A. Because the white chess pieces always go first.
I raised the fire-alarm at work today.
The midgets in my office were furious.