What a sh*t day I’m having. Just picked up my dictionary to find that most of the pages have been ripped out.
It just goes from bad to worse!!
If God doesn’t want people to eat bacon, why did he make it taste so good?
Q: What has three balls and comes from outer space? A: E.T. the extra testicle.
Had a really intense acid trip the other day. For 2 hours all I could see were beams of white light and all I could hear were car horns and people shouting.
How do you know when you’re really in love? You don’t have to hold your farts in anymore.
If you have sex with a prostitute without permission is it raype or shoplifting?