There’s only 3 things I hate about my job. 1. Waking up. 2. The people 3. Working
Feeling quite depressed. Gave my friend $10’000 for plastic surgery but now I don’t know what he looks like.
Q:What do you do if your wife keeps moaning at you?
A:Put the phone down and order another drink from the bar.
New Year’s resolution- Date more models. Revised- Date more. Revised again- Get a date. Revised one last time- Stop crying whilst masturbating.
My brother was named after my Dad. It’s really confusing having a brother called Dad.
What do you call a ginger person who works at a bakery? A ginger bread-man.