I can‘t believe how uncaring some people are. I‘m trying to raise money for charity but every time I ask someone if they can spare some money to help spastics they look at me in disgust.
I saw a sign today day telling please keep off the grass. I wonder how it got there?
Went to the zoo yesterday and an elephant tried to charge me. I said “F*ck off, i’m not paying twice.”
I never cheat in a relationships.
That’s because it would require two people to find me attractive.
You turn my software into hardware.
My girlfriend said she wanted to watch Jeremy Kyle live in person so I shagged her sister and got her pregnant.