What do dating and driving have in common? They both involve being chased by the police if you go too fast.
They say money is the root of all evil which is why I never give any money to Africa. They have enough problems already.
The following conversation took place between an unemployed husband and his wife. Husband: Today I’m gonna take you out for a meal. Wife: Wow, did you manage to find a job? Husband: No, I lost the house playing poker.
Can’t believe how much of a sarcasm expert I’ve become recently. People are actually starting to think I’m really polite.
What do you call a guy who can swim without using his arms and legs?
Clever dick.
The weather forecast for tonight…. Dark!