The following conversation took place this morning.
Me: Sorry boss can’t come in today my car has broken down. Boss: What about the bus? Me: I don’t have a bus.
What is the difference between a job and a dead prostitute? A job still sucks.
If pollen is ‘plant sperm’ then does that mean people who suffer from hay fever are actually being raped trees?
If so then trees should be chopped down as revenge in my opinion.
I finally got my own back for Christmas shopping: I took my girlfriend into eight different pubs without getting a drink and then went back into the first one and bought a pint.
Hired a landscape gardener but he’s said he’s unable to help me because my garden is portrait.
What do you call a prostitute with a fake tan?
An Orange pay as you go!