I’ve just renamed my WiFi network to “Police Surveillance Van #02”. That should keep my gypsy neighbours on their toes for a while.
I gave my liver a big surprise today, I actually drank a glass of water.
Q. Why is an Australian kiss better than a French kiss?
A. Because they’re down-under.
What do dating and driving have in common? They both involve being chased by the police if you go too fast.
They say money is the root of all evil which is why I never give any money to Africa. They have enough problems already.
The following conversation took place between an unemployed husband and his wife. Husband: Today I’m gonna take you out for a meal. Wife: Wow, did you manage to find a job? Husband: No, I lost the house playing poker.