I wish I were a unicorn…. so I could stab idiots with my head.
Overcome awkward silences on those first dates by bringing an air horn with you.
What is the object of Jewish football?
To get the quarter back.
After having a wife for 10 years I finally understand why the word gay also means happy.
Do you know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.
Last night I spent the entire evening watching Jaws 3. My wife, her mother and her sister all came over and were talking all night.