Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Health

in Racist Jokes
+30 -25

Q. What do you call an Indian who cares about his health?
A. Soshul Distan Singh.

Weight

in Sports Jokes
+26 -21

Really struggling to keep my weight down at the moment.

Tried jogging but I keep running into restaurants.

Sainsburys

in General Jokes
+17 -12

I love Sainsburys. Just found a button on the self-checkout machines that says “cancel payment”. If you press it you can walk out of the store without paying.

What a great supermarket.

Car

in General Jokes
+21 -16

Knocked on my neighbours door and just had the following conversation.

Me: Your son has just run out in front of my car, I nearly killed him!!
Neighbour:  I’m so sorry, he won’t be doing it again.
Me: I know he won’t, the paramedic said he probably won’t walk again.

Trouser Present

in Dirty Jokes
+22 -17

Q. Why is a pair of trousers with the pockets cut out the best present you can give a teenage boy?
A. Because it’s something to wear and something to play with at the same time.

Hot Weather

in General Jokes
+23 -18

The thing I love most about this hot weather is the short skirts and low cut tops.
Although, they do make me look a bit gay.