My wife is so selfish when we make love she screams out her own name.
My wife told me that she wants me to make her feel like a “real woman” so I took my shirt off and said “Here you go, iron this”.
Once you get past a certain age “getting lucky” is the thing that happens when your remember where you put down your keys.
I heard if you drink every day that means your an alcoholic so I now only drink at night.
I don’t understand women. They love it when you sweep them off their feet but as soon as you lock them in the back of the van they start freaking out.
Me and my girlfriend decided to start trying the whole long-distance relationship thing yesterday.
The police said I have to stay 100ft away from her and I have to stop calling her my girlfriend.