Q. What do you call a muscular Arab Price? A. Protein Sheikh
Been getting in touch with my inner self recently.
Couldn’t find any toilet paper at my local supermarket.
Three Rules of Marriage to avoid disaster. 1. Never come home at 4am and ask for breakfast. 2. Never leave the toilet seat up. 3. Wife is never wrong.
While your girlfriend is asleep stick a nicotine patch on her arm and then take it off before she wakes up.
That way if you ever break up she’ll get withdrawal symptoms, think she’s in love and want you back.
I’ll never forget my Grandads last words… “Are you sure it’s safe to store 1 tonne of fireworks in the kitchen? “
Can’t believe how crap this no more tears shampoo is. I’ve been feeding it to my kid for the past hour and he still hasn’t stopped crying.