My grasp of the English language is so amazing I actually invented a new word the other day, it’s called “plagiarism”.
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle it’s balls.
I cant believe some people. You give someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and then suddenly she’s not friends with you any more.
Heard on the radio today that global warming is being caused by methane emissions from cows. Does this mean scientists are finally admiting global warming is bullsh*t?
Me: You have nice eyes Yi Qing Wong: Thanks Me: Its a shame i cant see them
Once I made a belt out of clocks…
It was a waist of time