I wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase “Thanks for coming” ?
Q. What do Islam and sat-navs have in common? A. They both make you smash into buildings if you follow them too closely.
Did you fall from heaven? … Because you remind me of Satan.
I just can’t seem to get a girlfriend even though I can speak two languages fluently.
English and Klingon.
I enjoy smoking a lot of drugs like marijuana and cigarettes and drinking alcohol but cocaine is where I draw the line.
Yesterday I went through a costly and painful procedure that required me to have my spine and both testicles removed.
Still, I got some fantastic wedding presents.