Got arrested last night. Apparently watching your lover sleep is only romantic if they know who you are.
My young daughter asked me this morning.
“Daddy, what were you and Mummy doing in the bedroom last night, I could hear a buzzing noise, then Mummy started to scream?”
“Nothing darling,” I replied.
It was then I burst out laughing as my wife walked down the stairs with her half shaved head.
My grasp of the English language is so amazing I actually invented a new word the other day, it’s called “plagiarism”.
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis. The priest is in jail now.
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle it’s balls.
I cant believe some people. You give someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and then suddenly she’s not friends with you any more.