Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Jun

Five Things

By SteveB

in Relationship Jokes

+29 -23

Five things men know about women.

1. They like shoes
2.
3.

Jan

School Lesson

By Dave

in General Jokes

+22 -16

The following conversation took place in a school lesson.

Teacher: So kids what jobs do your parents have?
Simon: My dad is a baker.
Teacher: Very good Simon, anyone else?
Johnny: My dad runs the local prison!!
Teacher: That’s great, is he a prison warden?
Johnny: No he’s just the hardest c*nt in there!!

Apr

Homeless Brother

By Dave

in Political Jokes

+31 -25

After winning the lottery last week I have decided to give my homeless brother a new home. It’s the box from my new 65” TV.

Oct

Jogging

By Dave

in General Jokes

+29 -23

I saw my neighbour jogging at 1am this morning.

I said, “It’s a bit late for you Michelle, isn’t it?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” she replied.

“That’s not what I meant, you fat cow.”

May

Chinese Friend

By TimmyD

in Racist Jokes

Tags: Chinese Jokes

+41 -35

My Chinese best friend died recently. I flew to China for the funeral. It’s strange how when someone dies everywhere you look you see their face.

Dec

Psychology Graduate

By Alex

in Surreal Jokes

+20 -14

Just had a really interesting conversation with a Psychology graduate about how on average people tend to day-dream about 40% of the time. He also said something else that was interesting but I forgot the rest of the conversation, will have to ask him again next time he serves me in McDonald’s.