My Current Relationship Status:
Made dinner for two… Ate both.
You can tell a lot about a person by their car. For example, if it’s in a ditch, it’s probably owned by a woman.
My girlfriend always smokes after sex so I’ve decided to start using lube.
What do you call a Greek man with a tampon on his head?…
Abzorba the Greek
Got called into the headmasters office today to explain my views on lesbians after insulting a classmate. Apparently, “in HD” wasn’t the correct answer.
I really hate my next door neighbour so I’ve decided to rename my WiFi to ‘Steve-at-no.6-is-a-cunt’