I went to the hospital yesterday to get a lump removed. He weighed 9 lbs and we’ve named him Dave.
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe???
Roberto
I desperately needed a massive shit on the train today but the toilet was out of order, so I just sat there and held it for about 20 minutes.
The woman sitting opposite looked at me in disgust and said, “Is that a poo in your hand?”
Hey how about we make tonight a not so silent night.
Yo mama is so nasty that when I called her on the phone she gave me an ear infection.
My love is like a roller-coaster, it’s got a weight restriction.