Until recently I used to think all my work colleagues were hatching some sort of evil plan against me but then I discovered they’re actually using alcohol hand gel.
Called a rape advice hotline the other day for some support but apparently it’s just for victims.
I slept like a log last night…. Woke up in a forest covered with ants.
Me and my wife are total opposites. She donates money to the homeless, I donate money to the topless.
Q. What do Islam and sat-navs have in common? A. They both make you smash into buildings if you follow them too closely.
Did you fall from heaven? … Because you remind me of Satan.