Do you know if you sit on the toilet at 11:59pm and the clock strikes midnight, it’s the same shit different day ?
Knock knock. whose there? “Doorbell repair man“
I never realized how common Tourettes syndrome was until I got a job as a traffic warden.
To make it straight she pulls it. To make it stiff she licks it. To put it in she pushes it. It’s a hell of a job threading a needle.
Started the new ‘wine diet’ last week… It’s amazing! I’ve lost 3 days already!
Just scared the postman today by going to the door naked.
Not sure what scared him more, my body or the fact that I knew where he lived.