Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Parked Car

in Political Jokes
+12 -3

I parked my car outside parliament. “Sir, you can’t park here,” said a cop. “This is where our politicians work.” “Don’t worry, I’ve locked it.”

Diabetes

in Disabled Jokes
+55 -46

Just been diagnosed with diabetes. I’m beginning to have doubts about Dr Pepper’s medical qualifications.

Drink Responsibly

in General Jokes
+23 -14

It says “Please drink responsibly” on the label so I guess I should probably put my seat belt on.

Wet

in Relationship Jokes
+25 -16

Just had the following conversation with my wife

Wife: “Give it to me! I’m so f*cking wet! Give it to me now!”
Me: You can scream all you want, you’re not having the umbrella.

007

in Relationship Jokes
+16 -7

My wife gave me a new nickname the other day, 007:

0 Romance
0 Hygiene
7 Meals per day

Best Friend

in Animal Jokes
+27 -18

They say a dog is a man’s best friend. But even my worst enemy would never stare directly into my eyes whilst taking a shit on my carpet.