I have a fear of speed bumps
But i am slowly getting over it
Yo mama is so fat she has to shower at a car-wash.
So much has changed since my girlfriend got pregnant. Like my name, address and telephone number!
Just tried to email a picture of my cock today but I got a message saying
“Recipient may not be able to receive files this large”.
It was a nice boost for my confidence.
I heard a gunshot outside my apartment the other night. Then I saw two guys run past my window. I was gonna call the police, but then I got optimistic and said, ‘hey maybe it’s just a race’.
Just started a rock band that is devoted to making music for people who love cleaning. The band is called ‘OC/DC’.