I never realized how common Tourettes syndrome was until I got a job as a traffic warden.
Just scared the postman today by going to the door naked.
Not sure what scared him more, my body or the fact that I knew where he lived.
Just discovered a new position called ‘9’. It’s just me laying there on my own. I have no sex life.
Started the new ‘wine diet’ last week… It’s amazing! I’ve lost 3 days already!
Had a piss in my local swimming pool earlier this morning. Lifeguard blew his whistle so loud I almost fell off the diving board.
Why is it that people who own guns are considered a danger to society but it’s perfectly acceptable for someone to own a meat clever and a human-sized freezer?