If you’re easily offended remember a joke is not a dick, you don’t have to take it hard.
When I was a child, my dad tried to force-feed me.
After a while, my mum said, “Just use a f*cking spoon, Steve. You’re not a Jedi.”
I dig, you dig, we dig, he digs, she digs, they dig. It’s not a beautiful poem, but it’s very deep.
If a redhead works at a bakery, does that make him a gingerbread-man?
My girlfriend said, “Fancy a bit of phone fun tonight?” I said, “Yeah, definitely. Let’s call your mum and tell her you’ve died.”
Just found out my toaster isn’t waterproof. I was shocked.