Q. What do subway and prostitution have in common?
A. They both get paid to do your wife’s job.
Q. How do you know when your wife has died? A. The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
Me: Alexa, remind me to go to the gym. Alexa: I have added gin to your shopping list. Me: Close enough.
My new girlfriend from Thailand said that having a small dick is no problem. I really like her but I think I’d still prefer it if she didn’t have one.
How many men does it take to open a beer bottle?
Zero. It should be open when she brings it.
Why wife loves to role-play in bed. She usually pretends to be a coma patient.