The following conversation took place after a lesbian woman attempted to kiss a straight woman.
Straight woman: Stop trying to kiss me, I’ve told you I’m straight!!” Lesbian: So is spaghetti until it gets wet!!
My wife is really beginning to annoy me. I took her out for a meal yesterday and she ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, double whopper with cheese!
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the M25. Motorists have been asked to be on the lookout for 15 hardened criminals.
Q. What does an airport and a prostitute have in common? A. They both ask you to put your liquids into a little plastic bag.
Like my dad always used to say.
“I’m not your dad”
I have a condition that stops me from dieting… I get hungry.