I forgot to put the seat belt on my five-year-old boy this morning.
As we were leaving the car park, somebody shouted, “You are an irresponsible father!”
I said, “Who the f*ck was that? Stop the car, son.”
Just got a really big response to my advert on the internet saying ‘Wife wanted’. In about 2hrs I had over 300 emails saying ‘you can have mine’.
My next door neighbours just got arrested after recent police raids against online paedophiles. Not sure where I’m going to get my free wi-fi now.
Vaccinated or not please remember to wear deodorant.
Q. What is Bruce Lee’s vegan brother called?
A. Broco Lee.
Just trimmed my bush… I love gardening.