3 reasons why my wife is like a freezer.
1. She never stops making a noise. 2. She can hold a lot of food inside her. 3. It can take hours of “defrosting” to make her wet.
Forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 8 years in a row now.
Q. What has no arms, no legs, and screws retards? A. The lottery.
Question: What do you call a cat who is a sexually depraved?
Answer A Purrvert
This girl came up to me today and said she recognized me from vegetarian club. I was confused, I’d never met herbivore.
In my previous job I used to take a lot of notes. I got fired after they started checking the cash register.