The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.
Wife: If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Husband: Yeah that’s true. Wars require strategy, planning and logic.
I’ve always had a difficult relationship with my parents. When I was first born I didn’t speak to them for 2 years.
The police came over to my house last night after me and my wife had an argument. I said “Officer there’s no reason for you to be here tonight, I’ve already tasered her.”
Discovered yesterday I have liftophobia, fear of lifts. I’m taking steps to avoid them.
Can’t believe it’s pancake day today.
It’s really crêped up on me.
I don’t drink too much, I just like having an attractive wife.